22 years ago today

The space shuttle Challenger exploded barely a minute after it left the ground.



All seven crew members lost their lives.



This piece of history was one that people in my generation and older will not ever forget. I was sitting in a second grade classroom watching the space shuttle take flight.

Do you remember where you were?

Life Lessons as a Parent

I've learned as my kids have grown that we are never through learning. I've also learned that this whole parenting gig is the hardest thing ever. Nothing can prepare you for watching another human being mold into a person, with personalities and mistakes and fun and love like no other experience on earth.

We got a notice this week that the school wants to test my daughter for the gifted program. Now, I know every parent on this earth wants to believe their child is gifted, and in truth they all are. Each person has their own gifts and talents that make them unique. The problem here is looking at this from a realistic point of veiw. At first I was kind of taken aback. I mean I think my kid is special but for someone else to say so is really cool. Then I had to stop and think...but wait, doesn't every first grader think outside the box? Don't they all show creative abilities and promise until that gets squashed the older they get?

Then there's this - and I warn you now this is selfish on my part. I want it. Badly. I want my daughter to have this program in her life that meant so so much to me when I was a kid. I know exactly what the gifted program is because I was in it for something like 8 years. I feel like it is one of the surest ways to NOT turn out a little autobot from the public school system. The program is as unstructured as public education can be and forces children to stay outside the box. And the older she gets she will be exposed to older and younger children from other backgrounds. Some of them will challenge her too, because they will be the ones who are really really ingelligent. You know, the smart kids with almost no social skills. And of course the lucky ones who are smart and socially ept. Those are the ones who challenged me the most. Because they were cool and part of the in crowd. Plus they made me think. Me, I was a part of all the crowds. I was just one of those people who blended. But anyway I digress.

We won't know anything for a while. Won't even know when they will test her. And I don't think I even want to tell her they will be doing it. Although I'm plenty open to opinions on that one.

So, this is me. Being selfish and trying to be realistic. And trust me, I'm completely ok if my kid is just average, because I know her gifts and she will learn them as she grows. I just see this as the opportunity for her to use them to the fullest. Hopefully anyway. :)

Another reminder of why I do this

Birth, that is.

I had another birth this week. This one was emotional and hard, and did not have the most desired outcome. A healthy baby and mother were both had though.

In speaking with mom at her postpartum visit yesterday I was once again reminded of why I do birth. And of why I love women.

We are a strong species, the fairer sex. We are looked at as the less strong, the needy, etc...when that couldn't be farther from the truth. We are stronger than any man I've ever met. And really, I completely understand why the oldest religions worshipped the feminine. We should be worshipped.

I bear the image of Isis on my right shoulder blade. She is the mother goddess, the goddess of the feminine. I wear her permanently on my body as a reminder of just how strong we are. I see her strength in each women I am blessed enough to serve. I see her strength in myself. I am proud of being a part of this fairer sex.

I told someone close to me last year that I found pain to be the most beautiful state of existence. This is because of the strength of these women. My job is to be with women in pain. Not to sit with them and cluck and pity their pain. My job is to actually be present with them, to share their energy and let them know they are not alone in what they are experiencing. A woman in pain will open her soul to you at the exact moment she wants to shut down, if you will be present with her. It is at the point I see strength, without fail. And it is beautiful.

My heart is full this week from the strength of birth, of the feminine. And once again I remember why I do what I do.

An amazing birth

I'd like to share a quick story with you. This is why I do what I do.

I had a client last week email me talking about wanting an unassisted birth. Previously the plan had been for me to assist her and her partner in a hospital birth. I encouraged her to go for the birth she wanted and left the lines open for any support I could give her.

I don't do what I do to to feel good myself. I truly do this to empower women. I do not want women to remember their birth by my presence. I want women to own their birth experiences.

Now I won't tell you a lot about the birth. I don't tell my clients' birth stories as they aren't mine to tell. I will just tell you the part that has made my entire day. Hell it could have made my entire week.

Mom went into labor this morning, and not even an hour ago delivered her son unassisted at home with me blessed enough to be on the phone. She was amazing and strong and can forever know she this birth belonged to no one but herself. I am so proud of her and for her. The trust she placed in her body and her baby is what I hope for every women I encounter.

Love and light beautiful women.