For my fellow Mississippians

Personally, I think Hilary has made a grave political mistake. In an interview she is quoted as saying, "I was shocked when I learned Iowa and Mississippi have never elected a woman governor, senator or member of Congress. There has got to be something at work here." She went on to say, "How can Iowa be ranked with Mississippi? That's not the quality. That's not the communitarianism, that's not the openness I see in Iowa."

I'm wondering how such an educated woman can make such a careless statement? Regardless of the fact that Mississippi is historically a "red" state, she has managed to not only alienate our state but the entire south along with it. The South tends to link itself together. The deep South is generally though of as backwoods, ignorant, and behind the times. Now, I'll admit we are behind in terms of progressive thinking. Liberals in Mississippi aren't hard to come by, they simply aren't the majority. The issue is that this is the case in most Southern states. Arkansas, Alabama, Georgia, sometimes Tennessee, and even the Carolinas are portrayed in the same light by Hollywood. People who have never visited the South are shocked when they come and discover civilization. I worked with a girl from Maine once whose family was completely surprised she had indoor plumbing and electricity and didn't have to drive to New Orleans to shop.

Beyond simply alienating a good portion of potential voters, Hilary has managed to destroy the confidence of people who stand to be under her leadership. Katrina is not a dim memory to those of use who experienced it. Federal response to a disaster of such proportions was sadly lacking, and this from a candidate we helped to put in office (oops). Point is, if "our" chosen leader will ignore our struggles with such careless abandon, what will the South look like if left up to a leader who doesn't even consider us worthy of considerate comments?

Let me also point out that we have never had a female gubernatorial candidate. We have, however, had two women elected to Mississippi's 2nd highest office, one who is still serving. Lt. Governor Amy Tuck is well respected throughout Mississippi, and although she is now affiliated with the Republican party, she was elected into office as a Democrat.

I am used to the disrespectful and ignorant attitudes of the country regarding Mississippi. We have been poorly portrayed for as long as I can remember, this I believe we are all used to. But when the politicians, especially those who stand a possibility of running this country, begin to not only view us in a bad light, but also speak of us in one, I do not see good things.

Go ahead - drive

Let me being with a few words from Ani, who is (I'm convinced) the most talented lyricist of our time.

i was a long time coming
i'll be a long time gone
you've got your whole life to do something
and that's not very long
so why don't you give me a call
when you're willing to fight
for what you think is real
for what you think is right

I was thinking yesterday as I was driving, aka my Ani time, about legacies. We all have them and we all leave them. Sometimes we come into a wonderful legacy and leave the world with a decidedly worse one. Others, and this is my aspiration, we come into a legacy of the not so great and leave behind one that the word improvement cannot begin to touch. The legacy I came into was, to put it mildly, desperation. My birth family was (and is) riddled with illness both physical and mental, drugs, abandonment, and heartache. My mom and dad (who adopted me), while wonderful people, were desperate for a child and had suffered many losses of many varities over the years of working toward parenthood. Needless to say, I had no shoes and yet very large shoes to fill all at once. A long time coming...yep that was me. We all are, really. Generations upon generations before us set up for our arrival. And our mark is left for generations to follow. What we're leaving though, that's another story.

It occurred to me as I followed this highway of thought how easily I've fit into this generation I was born into. This isn't the first time I've thought this, but I'm glad to have lived in the years I have. We have gotten to witness so much history and change, some wonderful and some terrible. But, with each new generation there comes more change...as we all know change is inevitable. Each of us make a mark on the world, even if by affecting one single person...that person is marked and will go on to mark others. Boom. Your mark is made.

As a parent, I'm more than aware that my greatest chance at leaving a mark is through my children. I am no one spectacular. But I am raising my children, I hope, to believe in what I have to offer - to grab ahold of my legacy. What I am aiming for that legacy to be is this...and you must hear me out...feminism. I'm not talking about that canned version of girl power Shee-Ra women are better than men version thing. I don't mean woman's rights or equality, although those things are plenty important. What I want to hand down is appreciation of the feminine, and more importantly understanding. I want to empower my daughters, who will empower theirs, who will empower theirs, and so on. I also hope to pass this through my work to my clients and pretty much any woman open to receiving it. Possession of the femine nature is powerful, all we have to do is grab it.

I don't know how my time gone will be. I know we are all a long time gone...that has to be the greatest truth I've ever heard. I have been handed down legacies from generations ago. Those molded southern women who lived in their old southern homes, rocked on their old southern porches, and died in their old southern beds. I hope in a few generations the grandchildren of my children will remember my legacy. I hope they will know of my battle scars and remember birth and rebirth that comes with being feminine. I hope the daughters that follow long after me never let themselves be brought down by social ideas and pressures. And I hope the sons never seek to bring them down.

For the beautiful babies I have seen enter this world, as they are such an intrical part of my mark, I hope they go through life exactly as they were born - gently, with love, and never choosing violent intervention when careful watching will do.

No, this legacy wasn't what I was born into. We aren't always a long time coming and gone in the same ways. Which, leads me perfectly to my closing quote by (of course) Ani.

and i was shocked
to see the mistakes of each generation
will just fade like a radio station
if you drive out of range

So, go ahead...drive. Live your own life and make one hell of a legacy in the process.

So I'm wondering...

Can you really say that you hate drama if drama seems to follow you?

If everybody thinks you're really a bad ass person, does that actually make you one?

How can a person be one way in one situation and completely different in another?

Why does age really make a person so different?

Why do we claim to want answers to questions we really don't want?

Are we all as complicated as we like to think we are?

How many licks does it take?

I mean really, any answers people?

Congratulations to meet you

I am reading this really great book right now by Elizabeth Gilbert called Eat Pray Live. Yesterday I came across something in the book that I knew I would need to share. This book is about this lady's (Elizabeth's) nine month journey in three different countries. She lives for three months in Italy, in an Ahsram in India, and with a monk in Indionesia looking for peace and spiritual growth. She embarks on this journey after a nasty divorce closely followed by parting ways with a lover whom she had fallen in love with immediately after her marriage. While talking with a friend at the Ashram about the lover, she tells him that she believed the former lover to be her soul mate. And this is what he told her:

"People think a soul mate is a perfect fit...but a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. And thank God for it."

How amazingly insightful this was. I am of the belief that no one on this Earth has only one soul mate. I believe we each have many walking around in the world who we might or might not come across at different points in our lives. They may present to us in the form of a lover, a spouse, a friend, or even a stranger. I have been fortunate enough to encounter a handful of true soul mates over the years. The thing is, it always hurts like hell to have to let them go. But this, this eased some past pain I was holding on to.

Because each of these people have caused me to change. They have caused me to examine something in myself and spark forward motion in my life. And if this forward motion occurs, and I am a better person because of their presence in my life, then losing them isn't really a loss. Their presence was merely a catalyst and they have served their purpose. And Liz's friend, Richard from Texas, is right. To hang on to them forever would be more pain than a person can tolerate. We would forever remain stuck in repeating cycles of whatever was supposed to start the internal change without ever changing.

Now, I feel compelled to add one more thing here. I do have a few soul mates still present in my life. Some are newer than others, and my relationships with them are constantly being defined and redefined. Painful? Hell yes, sometimes it is. But love is painful, I've learned.

Anyway, like I said, this beautiful little insight Mr. Richard from Texas was kind enough to share with Liz offered me a little healing and growth. I thought it might do the same for some of you.

Love and light, beautiful people.