Go ahead - drive

Let me being with a few words from Ani, who is (I'm convinced) the most talented lyricist of our time.

i was a long time coming
i'll be a long time gone
you've got your whole life to do something
and that's not very long
so why don't you give me a call
when you're willing to fight
for what you think is real
for what you think is right

I was thinking yesterday as I was driving, aka my Ani time, about legacies. We all have them and we all leave them. Sometimes we come into a wonderful legacy and leave the world with a decidedly worse one. Others, and this is my aspiration, we come into a legacy of the not so great and leave behind one that the word improvement cannot begin to touch. The legacy I came into was, to put it mildly, desperation. My birth family was (and is) riddled with illness both physical and mental, drugs, abandonment, and heartache. My mom and dad (who adopted me), while wonderful people, were desperate for a child and had suffered many losses of many varities over the years of working toward parenthood. Needless to say, I had no shoes and yet very large shoes to fill all at once. A long time coming...yep that was me. We all are, really. Generations upon generations before us set up for our arrival. And our mark is left for generations to follow. What we're leaving though, that's another story.

It occurred to me as I followed this highway of thought how easily I've fit into this generation I was born into. This isn't the first time I've thought this, but I'm glad to have lived in the years I have. We have gotten to witness so much history and change, some wonderful and some terrible. But, with each new generation there comes more change...as we all know change is inevitable. Each of us make a mark on the world, even if by affecting one single person...that person is marked and will go on to mark others. Boom. Your mark is made.

As a parent, I'm more than aware that my greatest chance at leaving a mark is through my children. I am no one spectacular. But I am raising my children, I hope, to believe in what I have to offer - to grab ahold of my legacy. What I am aiming for that legacy to be is this...and you must hear me out...feminism. I'm not talking about that canned version of girl power Shee-Ra women are better than men version thing. I don't mean woman's rights or equality, although those things are plenty important. What I want to hand down is appreciation of the feminine, and more importantly understanding. I want to empower my daughters, who will empower theirs, who will empower theirs, and so on. I also hope to pass this through my work to my clients and pretty much any woman open to receiving it. Possession of the femine nature is powerful, all we have to do is grab it.

I don't know how my time gone will be. I know we are all a long time gone...that has to be the greatest truth I've ever heard. I have been handed down legacies from generations ago. Those molded southern women who lived in their old southern homes, rocked on their old southern porches, and died in their old southern beds. I hope in a few generations the grandchildren of my children will remember my legacy. I hope they will know of my battle scars and remember birth and rebirth that comes with being feminine. I hope the daughters that follow long after me never let themselves be brought down by social ideas and pressures. And I hope the sons never seek to bring them down.

For the beautiful babies I have seen enter this world, as they are such an intrical part of my mark, I hope they go through life exactly as they were born - gently, with love, and never choosing violent intervention when careful watching will do.

No, this legacy wasn't what I was born into. We aren't always a long time coming and gone in the same ways. Which, leads me perfectly to my closing quote by (of course) Ani.

and i was shocked
to see the mistakes of each generation
will just fade like a radio station
if you drive out of range

So, go ahead...drive. Live your own life and make one hell of a legacy in the process.